The War of the Night: Serana's Journey - Part III
by Darkspawndweller04
Summary: DO NOT READ BEFORE CHAPTERS I & II The vampire army assaults Windhelm and Jarl Ulfric must fight against Serana with her newfound Dragonborn powers. The people of Windhelm must defend against the vampire-horker Baron Blutmeister von Tusk! Warning: contains diarrhea, internal organs, bubonic plague and cabbages.


After swimming for a week and resting on various islands, chasing the resident horkers into the sea or having Baron von Tusk devour them, Serana and the Rebels of the Eternal Night finally arrived at the Windhelm docks. Serana's heart sank when she saw how heavily defended the area was and how many civilians were milling around. They needed an assault plan, so they all gathered in the icy water beneath the boardwalk to confer,

"What are we going to do?! There must be hundreds of them! It's like every Stormcloak in Skyrim is here in the city!" Whispered a Breton vampire named Esther. Serana steeled herself for a fight and replied,

"We need to get past them to Ulfric. We need a distraction..." A dark shrouded figure swam forwards with red eyes shining from beneath his black hood; it was Voldemort,

"I could be of service to thee..." He rasped in an ethereal voice, "...I could fire my targeted liver shot into the river and fill the waters with deep, slippery organs. This would distract them I assure you. They would believe that their doom was coming..." He honked out a loud chuckle that sounded somewhere between a sob and Canada geese mating. Serana considered this and both Ulsgar and Kerin agreed with Voldemort that would be a good idea. Reluctantly she agreed to the plan but she grasped the pale man by the throat and shook him, making him sway slightly in the water and give a surprised honk,

"Your idea better work, scum. If you dare transfer livers into someone's body again, and get a bounty, I will personally feed you to the Death Hounds! She hissed in annoyance and then threw him away from her, causing Voldemort to drift slightly like some dandelion fluff on a stream. As the rest of the Rebels started to sneak out of the water, Voldemort stayed behind ready to instigate the liver shot upon Serana's command.

They slipped quietly towards the city gate and then Serana turned back towards where Voldemort was waiting and gave the signal. A slow flowing stream of gelatinous, diseased livers began flowing downstream and panicked the locals who all rushed to investigate...leaving the city gates unguarded. The vampires took their chance and slipped unnoticed into the city of Windhelm. Now the true struggle of trying to reach the Palace of Kings would begin, as the city was full of people and the guards looked extra cautious as Ulfric was holding a meeting with all the Stormcloaks in the land attending. They split up to try and find the best route to the Palace but all they managed to find was young boy crying and trying to perform a ritual involving human flesh. Sneaking up on the child, Serana grabbed him and covered his mouth so he could not cry out,

"What are you doing, eh? Trying necromancy?" She hissed into his ear. The boy started crying more and tried to speak,

"I'm trying to summon the Dark Brotherhood to kill the orphanage lady as she was mean to me and used to make me live in the toilet." Serana respected this boy and thought he could be useful in the fight against humanity and so dragged him off down an alleyway and bit into his neck, blooding him as a vampire. He screamed and fell into the snow, where he would remain for several hours until he reanimated as an unholy vampire boy.

"Fascinating." Said Serana, "Any organisation that can be called upon to kill random people is a threat to us as well! We must turn our attention to the Dark Brotherhood after Ulfric and Tullius are dead." Jurgen Trollsmasher nodded in agreement as he did not understand what she had just said...because he was drunk again.

As they began to sneak up the steps to the Palace a great commotion occurred. Baron Blutmeister von Tusk had flopped his way noisily into the city - not understanding the concept of 'undercover' - and had upturned a market stall only to feast upon the leg of the High-Elf stallkeeper. His arfing noises were drawing every guard in the city and he was fighting valiantly with his mutated vampire flippers and his gigantic tusks which were capable of transfering bubonic plague. People started to erupt into massive pustules and then pus started to seep like lava from the marketplace towards the tavern. Serana seized the distraction caused by the undead-horker and announced a charge,

"CHAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGE!" The Rebels of the Eternal Night split themselves into two groups and assaulted the doors to the Palace, ripping them open with their teeth like tin-openers. Stormcloaks came from every angle and started hacking and slashing with their swords...but the vampires cut them down like Alaskan lumberjacks in a forest. Blood spurted everywhere and the vampires started falling upon their prey and slurping at the blood like starved dogs. It was bliss to the vampires and many of them started rolling around in the blood and gore orgasming from the sheer carnal joy of the situation. It was like one giant orgy of vampiric chaos...and Serana had to fight hard to overcome her primal instincts and join in.

Soon it was only Ulfric Stormcloak who remained. He sat on his throne and looked unimpressed because his guards had succumbed so easily to a bunch of retarded rebel vampires. He inhaled deeply in an effort to expel a powerful Thu'um but Serana had already anticipated this and hurled an over-ripe cabbage at his open mouth; it hit him with a 'thwack' and it was wedged into his mouth by his teeth, many of which were now irreparably smashed. He groaned in pain and frustration as the Thu'um was unable to exit through his mouth and so sought any other means of exit. A bellowing fart Thu'um-ed from his backside and the whole Palace began to feel of rancid colonic gas. A stream of red hot diarrhea followed the ass Thu'um as Ulfric began to fight hand-to-hand with Serana. He could not see over the cabbage wedged in his mouth and so he was merely swinging and kicking violently in no particular direction as she rained down blow after blow on his head with her sharp vampiric talons.

As Serana thrust she hands around Cabbageman's throat in an attempt to kill him once and for all, he secretly pulled a steel dagger from his belt and brought it level with her heart. She shrieked as the point pressed in through her armor but then was blasted out of the way by a stream of flying, gooey livers.

"NYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAGGGGH!" Voldemort had come up from the docks just in time and had saved Serana's life by jet-hosing her out of the way with livers! Livers flowed beautifully out of the noseless man's face as he leapt at Ulfric...who was completely unaware of the evolving situation as he could not see over the cabbage. The livers engulfed him as Voldemort bit down hard on his dong, injecting it with every last liver he had inside him. Ulfric began to vibrate and stagger around as blood poured from his crotch, and Voldemort pulled Serana along with him as he shouted,

"Quick, I am afeared that he is about to explode!" They did not look back as they exited the Palace of Kings. Ulfric was now oscillating at a dangerous level as the power of magical liver-giving was combined with his own latent Thu'um ability to create catastrophic results. The cabbage vibrated out of his mouth finally and he felt himself uncontrollably holler,

"FUS-RO-AAAARRRGGGH!" The entire building exploded with the force of Ulfric's Thu'um and then it imploded in on itself leaving just a patch of scorched and bloodied ground where once there had been greatness. Serana stood up from where she had been tossed against a wall.

"... Thank-you, Voldemort. You truly are one of us. A Rebel of the Eternal Night." He got all teary eyed as they ran back towards the city gates, but as they reached the marketplace they discovered a scene of utter depravity and limbs.

Baron Blutmeister von Tusk had eaten most of the townsfolk, feasted on their corpses, drained them of their blood and now he was humping the dead bodies in a grotesque yet captivating manner. His undead horker dong-juice was creating tiny ghostly mini-horkers which would bolster the numbers of Serana's army! Slapping Baron von Tusk on the rear flipper, Serana exclaimed,

"Cease your revelry, brother! We must go to Solitude to stop General Tullius before he and his Imperial Legion overrun our world!" The horker started to arf and flop his way back towards the main gate where many people who had remained trapped inside the city had died brutally of bubonic plague or toxic shock syndrome. Some of the survivors had inadvertently been blooded and joined the Rebels now that they were immune to horker-transmitted diseases. Aventus Aretino staggered from the frosty alleyway near the city walls,

"Whu...what happened...?" Serana knelt by his side and embraced him,

"You are now a child of the darkness, my son. You can use the powers of the bat to your advantage now. Fly to Riften and kill that old crone Grelod. Seek your revenge!" All of the Rebels started laughing and cheering as Aventus smiled, showing his new fangs and flew away to wreck havoc in Riften.

But now it was time to leave, as Solitude beckoned to Serana. General Tullius would pay for his campaign of terror against her and her kind. Justinia Vasilius, the Imperial vampire woman, had already been to the stables outside the city and blooded some horses for the group. Serana thanked her and made a short speech to her Rebels before they mounted their vampiric steeds and rode North-West to Solitude.

The night was drawing closer for General Tullius.


End file.
